I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
