Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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