He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
