belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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