Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
