And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
