How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
