it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
