In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
