I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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