So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
