I'm really into asian looking animals
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
