That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize