This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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