ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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