Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
