i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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