it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
