ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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