I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So vagazzling was a success
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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