And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
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any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
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I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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