ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
