He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Michael Bay diarrhea
Don't EVER smell your tampon
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
