don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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