its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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