i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I puked a lego.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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