last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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