Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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