I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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