Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
