C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize