I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
