I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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