Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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