My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
