And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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