As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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