I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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