I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
