I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
