There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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