im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize