...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
