Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
