We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
