Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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