We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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