I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
