i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
