That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
