I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize