ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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