Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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