Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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