i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
