she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
