I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
