I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Your penis caused this!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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