i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
