next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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