so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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